


The Pros and Cons of Breathing

by Nevertellinu



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Bands, Best Friends, Comfort, Depression, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt, Multi, Music, Musicians, Other, POV Third Person, Teenagers, celebrity, indie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7468422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevertellinu/pseuds/Nevertellinu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A girl with way too many issues and her very understanding best friend Patrick Stump. </p><p>*Take this to your grave era*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

2003

Beads of sweat rolled down her skin. Her bare chest sinking and raising, her breath short.

Legs tangled in the soft duvet, hands intwined with his strong rough fingers.

She reached for her phone resting on his nightstand. The screen illuminated bright light into the dim room as she flipped it open to check the time.

5:15 am

"Shit" she cursed sitting up in a hurry, running her fingers through her messy long ebony hair as she checked her inbox.

"Whats up?" The young man beside her plainly asked shifting slightly to face her.

"I have to go my moms gonna kill me she hasn't even recovered from the last time I went home this late." She explained with a groan wanting to stay.

"I'll send you off." He told her reaching for his boxers.

She just nods watching him collect his clothes before reaching for hers.

He pulled on his worn t-shirt as she pulled on her ripped jeans and shoes.

He grabbed his cigarettes off the dresser and she grabbed her car keys.

"Ready?" He asked her as he paused in front of his bedroom door.

"Yup." She smiled shyly running her hands on her pockets checking if she had everything and with that he slowly opened the door making sure he didn't make any noise since his parents were sleeping just a few rooms away.

They made their way down the stairs in a snails phase since the stairs were old and worn the slightest pressure made them squeak. It was a routine they already mastered.

They were in the home stretch.

He opened the front door for her, popping a cigarette in his mouth.

She unhooked her car keys from her belt loop as her car came into view.

They walked side by side towards the jet black colored car. The street lights giving them company along with the moonlight.

He took another puff as she unlocked the car taking claim of the drivers seat starting the ignition with one swift move wrapping her hands on the steering wheel.

She looked up at him as if she was waiting for a kiss. He rested an arm on the roof of the car and leaned in, cigarette still intwined in-between his fingers.

He pecked her on the lips and pulled away with a cocky grin bringing his cigarette to his lips again. She smiles briefly before closing the door just to roll down the window.

"Bye Rey." She says pressing on the brakes before changing the gears. He waves taking a step back as she pulled away from the drive way.

She looks into the rare view mirror to see he was already half way towards the front door. She tightened her grip onto the steering wheel shifting her eyes on the red lights of the clock on the dashboard.

A sigh escaped her plump lips.

What was she doing? She asked herself. Looking for affection in a guy who clearly doesn't love her. She knew what he was after, he got it and she denied to herself that she was hoping that he'd fall for her because of it.

The skies slowly turned blue and she swore she could hear her heart pound on her chest. The image of her mother shouting at her for the second time this week was clear in her mind as a familiar three story house came into view.

"Shit." She cursed for the hundredth time this week as she backed into the drive way. Holding her breath like it would lessen the noise the engine was already making.

She turned off the car and turned her attention to the bottle of perfume in her cupholder, spraying a few pumps onto her neck before slowly opening the door.

It was quiet just a few birds chirping which were giving her anxiety. She knew she was in trouble and she couldn't deny it.

She made her way towards the door opening it with her keys. No one insight, no one was awake yet. Thank God.

"Mischa."

She jolted in surprise looking up the stairs were her mother stood in her colorful night gown.

Mischa's hazel eyes widen open like she just saw a ghost. A lump in her throat, her heart skipped a beat.

"What time is it?! Where have you been?" Her mothers frantic tone filled the room loud enough to wake the dead.

Before she could say anything her mother bombarded her with questions.

"What are you doing with your life?" She asked disappointed making her way downstairs.

Mischa removed her sneakers and set them beside the staircase trying her best to avoid eye contact.

Her mother started her many famous rants as she made her way into the kitchen.

This was a routine. Her mother ranted. Bombarded her with questions ends up not letting her even talk. She answers her own questions gets tired and lets everything slide like nothing happen and continues with her life.

Mischa climbed up the stairs the heavy feeling of guilt washing over her as she opens the door to her room.

The lights were turned off a small ray of sunlight peered through her dark curtains giving enough light for her to see.

A queen size bed covered in a white duvet and pillows rested against the wall begging for her to crawl in.

She sat on the edge pulling her phone out of her pocket, resting it on the mattress before proceeding to take off her pants, pealing one pant leg at a time sluggishly.

Mischa stood up scooping her jeans into her hand to put it in hamper which was in the corner of the room next to a full length mirror.

She was petite standing only five foot three. Her skin sun kissed and soft. Her hair ebony that rested just above her waist.

A sigh escaped her full lips as her warm almond shaped eyes stared back at the girl in the mirror.

Her chest felt heavy, tightening as she breathes. She could feel her eyes becoming hot, tears trying to form in them. 

Mischa always thought that she was physically "okay" She knew she wasn't ugly but she knew she wasn't drop dead gorgeous either but the one thing she knew was that she wasn't average.

Guys indeed liked her she knew but she would rather deny that they did since she loved to sell herself short. She didn't like the attention. She just always thought guys liked her for her personality.

Mischa was a huge nerd and she wasn't ashamed but then again she was considered to be a "cool kid" with her tough exterior that intimidated some people, something she was known for. Deep down she was just an overly sensitive young woman with a roller coaster of emotions who looked for love in the wrong people who she thinks she could change.

She blamed her daddy issues. Ever since he had left her and her mother four years ago she wasn't exactly the same. It might even be the reason why she started to rebel or perhaps the fact that her parents sheltered her for whole her life only releasing her into the word when they neglected her during the divorce which is also why she had chronic depression and anxiety.

A loud buzz caught her attention. The screen of her phone lit up letting her know that someone sent her a text.

It was almost seven am only one person could have texted her.

She threw herself onto her bed grabbing her phone in the process.

'1 message from Patrick Stumph' 

It said in pixelated font.

Mischa pressed a button opening the text that read:

'I over slept....'

It was her best friend Patrick updating her about his whereabouts something they both did like second nature. 

She softly chuckled shaking her head before replaying.

'I'm surprised u haven't gotten fired yet :))'

She teased now lying onto her stomach getting into a more comfortable position.

'Why r u still awake?'

Patrick knew Mischa was the least bit of a morning person and would rather sleep till dawn.

Mischa paused biting her lip unsure if she wanted to share what just happened with Rey. Patrick knew enough she didn't want to give too much away it was embarrassing. He was after all still a guy.

She shrugs "Whatever." She thought and proceeded to type.

'Just got home frm Rey's.'

Mischa held her breath waiting for a reply. Excepting for him to give her a lecture.

'U knw he doesn't deserve u right?'

She read those words over and over. He was right and she knew it. She was too good for him. She could do better but she chose not to, maybe she was simply just a masochist. She didn't know what to say.

Her phone vibrated again.

'Mischa go 2 sleep we both knw u need it. Text me later when u wake up ok? No point overthinking about assholes ;)'

She sighed a small smile crept on her lips.

'Yeah sure. Take care going to work Patrick :)'

Mischa sat her phone beside her and pulled the covers over her sun kissed legs. A smile still present on her face as she wrapped her arms around her soft pillow.

How she wished every guy was as sweet as Patrick. Guys like him were hard to find. She was glad she could call him her best friend. She though closing her eyes drifting fast to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The voice of the teacher echoed through the classroom faint chit chat in the background became a blur after the first thirty minutes passed.

Mischa sat in the back of the classroom a blank notebook on her desk. She had her hand under her chin. Her head drooped as her mind slowly drifted to sleep.

She felt a weak poke strike heron the cheek, slightly waking her up but not enough to get her attention.

Mischa covered her face with the hand under her chin getting comfortable in her seat. Another nudge hit the top of her head.

She violently screwed her head up meeting the stare of a young man with short curly brunette hair.

He sat on her right in the row in front of her.

A pile of small paper balls in his hand looking like he was ready to throw another at her. She wrinkled her brows at him pulling her fists up flipping her middle finger at him, a scowl on her face.

"Miss Sinclair!" The teacher called her attention an affronted tone in her voice.

A surprised expression emerged on Mischa's face as she meet the teachers gaze. She hastily folded her arms together pretending nothing happened. She then looked back at her brunette classmate glaring at him as he silently laughed at her.

"Could you please tell me who wrote the poem written on the board?" the teacher asked pointing at the black board arrogantly presumptuous that Mischa couldn't have known the answer.

Mischa stood up making the whole classroom turn to look at her in silence. Their eyes glued on her like they could see right through her soul.

She fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve reading what was written on the blackboard.

"If thou must love me, let it be for naught except for love's sake only."

Mischa looked at her classmate the one that got her in trouble, giving him a stern look before turning to the teacher.

"If you and mister Trohman were not too busy to listen to my lecture you would kno-"

"Elizabeth Barrett Browning" Mischa answered cutting the teacher off.

Mischa was modestly smart but indolent. Who would rather speak when she is spoken too and stay silent when she's not. 

"Excuse me?" the teacher asked slightly taken a back, an eyebrow raised at her resting all her weight on Joe Trohman's desk.

"The answer is Elizabeth Barrett Browning." Mischa repeated.

"Very good..." The teacher sighed nodding folding her arms in defeat.

"You know Miss Sinclair you're very smart what else if you actually listened in class." She said under her breath as she turned to her heels reclaiming her spot in front of the board.

"Fuck you." Mischa mouthed to Joe as she sat down back down. He just pouted his lips at her in a teasing manner rolling his eyes.

The next thing she knew an hour had past. The bell rang people were now pouring out the room.

Mischa threw her notebook into her black Backpack and pulled it onto shoulder.

"Where you going, want to get something to eat?" Joe asked cashing after Mischa.

"I'm not talking to you." Mischa groaned at her friend giving him the hand.

"You were falling asleep. I did you a favor." Joe replied cockily, fixing the straps of his backpack.

"I'm meeting Patrick."Mischa replied vaguely, walking towards the lockers.

"I swear you guys are attached to the hip ever since I introduced you." He laughs shaking his head.

"You two hang out more than me and him and were in a band together..." Joe adds standing right behind her as she stopped in front of her locker.

"You can come you know." Mischa tiredly looks over at Joe as she transfers her belongings from her locker into her bag.

"Nah... You two are boring as fuck." He teased crossing his arms leaning his back onto the lockers.

"You really are trying to push my buttons todayhuh?" Mischa exhaled noisily slamming her locker close with one swift move.

"Is it working?" He asked with a smug.

Joe, Joe was like the brother Mischa never wanted. The annoying and smart mouthed one that always picks on her but of course she knew it was his little way of showing her how he cared which is why Mischa choose to go along with it, besides it was entertaining to see him mad. 

"Nah I'm used to it." She smiles throwing her backpack over her shoulder.

"Very well I'm going to try to piss of Andy instead. You can ditch Patrick and come with us instead if you want."

Mischa plainly shook her head a faint smile spreading on her lips. She weaved him goodbye earning a nod from Joe and she was off starting her decent towards the School's parking lot. 

\---

Mischa sat behind the steering wheel listening to Radiohead minding her own business even singing along like she was playing a gig for a small crowd.

Her car parked in front of a tall commerce building were a crowd of yuppies stood sporting their smart casual outfits.

Knock. Knock

Mischa jumped startled by the knock on the window causing for her to hit her head on the roof of the car earning a faint chuckle from the person who knocked.

"Jesus fucking Christ Patrick!" Mischa rubbed the top of her head as she rolled down the window glaring at the young chubby red head standing outside of her car.

He gave her a sweet smile wiggling his eyebrows. "Did I interrupt your little concert?" Patrick teased.

"Shut the fuck up. Do you wanna walk?" Mischa threatened and she sure meant it. She was willing to let him walk all the way across town and not think about it twice.

"I'm sorry." He apologized raising his hands in defeat giving her an innocent smile which of course she couldn't resist.

Her face lightened up, her furrowed brows relaxed and was replaced by a smile. "Just get in before I change my mind." Mischa rolled her eyes gesturing to the passenger seat.

Patrick nods biting his lip as he walked around over to the other side.

"Where are we going exactly?" Mischa asked as he closed the door.

"Reckless records it's umm.... 3126 N Broadway street." He replied unsure thinking about it for a moment putting his thinking face on. He nibbled on his lips and crunched his brows.

Mischa rested a hand under her chin pressing her lips together waiting for Patrick to make up his mind.

"Yeah...." He absentmindedly said with a nod that just earned a sigh from Mischa who just shrugged changing gears and headed towards the direction where she thought the record store was.

She was a walking human Map.Mischa had a great sense of direction where Patrick didn't.

Mischa peered her eyes through the window scanning the street signs. Slowing down the car as she searched for the said Record store.

"Over there!" Patrick pointed in excitement earning a chuckle from Mischa.

A stone store front with large red windows with colorful posters on display came into view. It had large white sign with bold black fonts that said "Reckless records" above it. No could miss it, you could see it from a mile away.

Mischa pulled in front of it with ease and turned off the engine collecting her things before turning to Patrick who had a large smile plastered on his face it was clear he was really excited.

"I can't wait to show you the Jazz records they have!" He said in glee before hoping out of the door.

Mischa laughed "Wait up!" She chased after him after locking the doors.

Patrick opened the door causing the bell above it to ring immediately getting the attention of the young man behind the register who just flashed the two a smile.

"Ladies first." Patrick smiled taking a step back to let Mischa through.

"Why thank you." Mischa smirked bowing her head pretending to curtsey just earning a laugh from Patrick.

Patrick didn't waste time he hastily walked down the aisle and aisle of records, running his hands on the used worn cardboard covers.

"Don't you just love the smell of old records?" He asked turning to Mischa who just took her eyes off the David Bowie Vinyl she has been holding to look at Patrick.

His face would always light up as he talked about his passions and Mischa noticed mirroring the expression on his face.

Patrick's pinkish lips pointed to a smile. His moss green eyes warm and full of life.

"Check this one out."Patrick gestured to Mischa to come over as he held up a record.

Mischa looked over Patrick's shoulder to examine the cover.

"I loved listening to this when I was younger. This alone might be the reason why I started singing to be honest." He shared clearly fan boying but his voice was sincere like he could still remember the first time he listened to Elvis Costello.

"You should get it then.Everything sounds good on vinyl." Mischa smiled unconsciously she couldn't help it his smile was infectious.

The smile on his face shifted to a frown after taking one look at the price tag.

"Maybe some other time." He said setting the record down before moving onto the other aisle.

Mischa raised an eyebrow turning to check how much the record was. "$40"

She bit her lip remembering she only had about fifty in her pocket.

Mischa was still in high school and clearly she wasn't employed on the other hand Patrick was working on minimum wage which he would rather not say how much exactly he earned but she knew he would rather splurge on essentials instead like bills.

She ran her finger tips on the glossy cover before checking on Patrick who was in the CD section a CD in his hand as he ran his eyes on the selection.

He was so passionate with music something she knew and admired about him which is why they immediately hit it off after first meeting.

Mischa inherited her love for music from her dad who always used to blast Def Leppard, ac/dc and black Sabbath on the stereo when she was younger. He gave Mischa her first guitar when she was eight and it was history from there.

"Ready to go?"

Mischa jumped a few inches off the ground as Patrick whispered in her ear.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She asked trying to catch her breath hitting him on the arm.

"I'm sorry!" He apologized unaware of what he just did not wanting to scare her it wasn't his intention.

"It's fine..." She says plainly.

"Were we going now?"She adds.

"I could go for some food...My treat. I have to tell you something." He flashed her a wide smile.

Mischa blinked a lump growing in her throat as he said those words. Her heart skipped her anxiety present again.

She furrowed her eyebrows a puzzled look washed over her face. "What?"


	3. Chapter 3

The smell of food filed the air. The salty yet comforting smell of fried food made Mischa's stomach grumble.

Mischa and Patrick sat in a booth near the windows conversing. Patrick going on and on about some incident that happen at work while Mischa took advantage by stealing his fries.

"Uh huh." She nods absentmindedly, nibbling on a fry.

Patrick finally noticed what she was doing and laughs pushing the plate of fries closer to her.

"It's my treat remember." He informs with a soft chuckle looking at Mischa who was impatiently watching every waiter who came out of the kitchen.

She ran her palm on her face and turns to Patrick. "No it's fine you don't have to." Mischa looked at Patrick giving him an awkward smile.

Mischa was never a fan of chivalry she found it weird since she always thought that she had to do something in return as a sign of gratitude. She found it as a sign of weakness she wanted to show people she was independent.

"What did you wanted to tell me anyway?" She asks changing the subject before Patrick could object.

And just on cue a waitress approached them with a tray of food getting their attention.

"Pulled pork Sandwich?"She asked the two sweetly awaiting their answer. Mischa smiled largely raising her hand who earned a smile from Patrick.

It didn't take much to make Mischa happy.

The waitress placed Mischa's food in front of her before setting Patrick's cheese burger down. "Enjoy. If you need anything else please let me know." She told them kindly and left.

Mischa didn't waste any time taking a big bite of the sandwich not even bothering with utensils.

"Sorry I skipped breakfast.... And lunch." She shared covering her mouth as she chewed.

Patrick just watched a large smile on his face making Mischa feel uncomfortable.

"Stop staring. I'm hungry." She snarled rolling her eyes at him.

Mischa made a circling motion with her hand gesturing for Patrick to tell her what he needed to tell her as she took another bite of her food.

Patrick grinned from ear to ear lacing his fingers together. He titled his head slightly taking a deep breath like he was building up to it.

Mischa raised an eyebrow putting her food down on its plate turning all her attention on Patrick. She swallowed the remains of her food and wiped a napkin over her mouth.

"Were doing an album under fueled by ramen." Patrick said in excitement waiting for Mischa's reaction.

Her eyes widen her jaw hung open unsure what to say. She covered both her hands over her mouth.

"Oh my God! No way!"Was the only thing that came out of her mouth as her brain forgot how to function for a second.

"I know! Our friend Sean got us the gig." Patrick shared. His voice ecstatic it was clear he was very proud and very excited.

"Oh my God Patrick that's great news!" Mischa cheered exaggerating on the word Great.

She was truly happy for him. She knew that Patrick deserved it he was deeply passionate about his music, just him talking about it casually would prove it. Let alone he was very talented.He could play the guitar, drums, piano and fifty more instruments but what was truly special about him was his voice.

Mischa could still feel the goosebumps she felt when she heard him sing for the first time in his living room.

"Now we just need to get you a record deal and we'll be living out our dreams." Patrick began. "We could tour together! Me and the guys and you!" He beamed getting a little ahead of himself.

Mischa played the guitar, the piano and strangely a little bit of saxophone. She also sang and she thought she was okay. She did great not needing any singing lessons but she knew she still had a long way to go.

"One step at a time Patrick."She said pressing her lips together trying her best to sound optimistic for Patrick something she mastered. She was very cynical and was the biggest pessimist she knew, if being a musician wasn't going to work out for her she could be an actor instead with how she masked her emotions. She knew someday she was just going to blow up.

She shook her head shaking her thoughts away.

"So you guys celebrated yet?" She asked raising her fists in the air. Mischa wasn't the the type to shy away from a Party specially the ones Pete threw.

"We have a show tonight at the hideout if you wanna go." Patrick replied as he took another bite of his food.

The hideout was indeed the name of the bar. A bar masquerading as a suburban house where bands from around town played nightly. It was a small place and it was always crowded. It was also where Rey was known to hangout with his friends. It was a match made in heaven for her to accidentally bump into him.

"What time?" Mischa smirked placing both her hands under her chin like a little school girl.

"Eight thirty." Patrick said gulping his food.

"Awesome."

\---

Mischa came busting through the front door almost tripping as she ran up the stairs. Her footsteps booming through out to the house.

Her mother was still out an indicator that she was out with her new boy toy that Mischa hated with a passion since that guy was closer to her age than he was with her mother but it keeps her mother busy she thought. Every Time her mother had a boyfriend she was likely to be kinder clearly trying to make up for showering that said guy with money and gifts which Mischa obviously disapproved of.

Mischa stood in front of her closet scanning the rack and racks of black colored clothes, obviously her favorite color. She proceeded to try on clothes to just throw them on the floor when she was dissatisfied before finally landing on a pair of skinny high waist jeans ripped at the knees and a black camisole that showed of her 'assets'.

She then made her way to her vanity picking up a thin lace choker wrapping it around her neck before moving onto her make up.

A muffled buzz coming from the floor called her attention as soon as she did her eyeliner. A deep groan escaped her lips as she threw the pencil down and started her search for her phone only to find it under sixty black T shirts.

'1 message from Rey.'

A large smile tugged onto her lips upon seeing his name like a little school girl seeing her crush.

'Wat u doin?'

She could hear his voice saying those words in his cocky tone. She rolled her eyes knowing what he wanted but still chose to entertain him.

'I'm going 2 a friends gig @ the hideout'

Mischa quickly replied going back to her make up. She continued to trace a line on her eyelids taking her precious time and clearly Rey was too or either that he lost interest,something Mischa was worried about. "Did I say something wrong?" She thought pulling apart from the mirror for a second sighing.

She took her phone and stared at it for a moment fiddling her thumbs together. "Should I text him?"She asked herself not wanting to look desperate.

'U going?'

Mischa pressed send surrendering to her feelings.

He still didn't reply.

"We'll fuck you then."She cussed loudly throwing the phone on her bed and just finished getting ready.

She felt so stupid.

Mischa sat on the edge of her bed sliding on her shoes right when her phone went off ringing. A wide smug quickly grew on her face, she quickly dove for it pressing it against her ear.

"Hello!" She said in glee running her tongue on the inside of her cheek trying to contain her excitement.

"Don't bring a car."

The smile on Mischa's face soon turned upside down. It was Patrick.

"Dude I don't want to get raped after the gig for sure it's going to end late." Mischa sighed looking at herself in the mirror tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Whats wrong?" Patrick asked after hearing a different tone in her voice which Mischa thought she concealed.

"Nothing.... Anyway should I grab a taxi or?"

A loud honk cut her off soon the smile on Mischa's face soon returned.

"Hurry up were gonna be late." He laughs.


	4. Chapter 4

Mischa closed the front door hearing the faint hum of Patrick's car in the background.

She threw her denim jacket over her shoulders as soon as she turned around coming into view of Patrick's car.Damn didn't she feel special right now. She wasn't used to people pampering her.

"Hey." Mischa greeted as she opened the door the strong scent of Patrick air freshener hitting heron the nose immediately. "Jesus Christ what's that smell?" She asked hand on her nose as she claimed her spot on the passenger seat.

"Pete." He plainly said which shouldn't be a proper answer but it was.

Both nodded in unison.

"Ready?" Patrick asked turning to look at Mischa his eyes wondering for a moment but quickly returned his gaze on her face as soon as he noticed, his cheeks blushing slightly. 

"Yeah." Mischa nodding briefly looking at Patrick unaware how flustered he was since it was dark.

And with that they were off.

The street lights made shadows as they passed by. It was quiet no one spoke just Elvis Costello playing on the stereo.

Mischa checked her phone for the fifth time engulfed in her thoughts and it was clear by the expression on her face.

"You're awfully quiet."Patrick said clearing the awkward silence, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to look at her.

Mischa lifted her head meeting Patrick's concerned gaze then back at her phone, she sighs. She knew that he was consuming her that a mere little boy was taking over her life, she hated it.How she always thought about him and he didn't even bother with her.

She shook her head and placed her phone in her pocket before turning back to Patrick flashing him a smile.

"So what made you decide to pick me up?" She asked in a teasing tone.

Patrick gazed at her from his peripheral vision gulping. He took a breather taking one hand off the wheel and rested it on the door acting very nonchalant.

"It's the least I could do for earlier." He shared a smile tugging on his lips, pushing his thick frame glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Oh that? Pfft... That's nothing." She chuckled swaying her hand in the air.

"You didn't have to."She adds awkwardly now feeling uneasy from the thought that he'd go out of his way for her.

The car slowly stopped to a halt into a dark and almost empty parking lot.

Patrick put the car on park,pulled on the hand break before turning off the engine before turning to Mischa.

"You're a girl Mischa you should be treated like one." Patrick told her wanting her to remembersince she always forgot.

A small smile crept on her face as she examined Patrick's face who looked a little too serious after letting goof his statement.

"Such a gentleman you are." She says sweetly tucking a rebel strand of hair behind her ear.

"That's how you're supposed to be treated." Patrick plainly replies.

His moss green eyes stared into her hazel ones like he wanted to say something else

"I guess I'm just not raised like that." Mischa shrugged.

Her mother taught her to be independent. She had to always fend for herself because according to her mother: "You can't count on anyone." Which is why her mother didn't have any friends.

On the other hand her father spoiled her rotten which is why she was so conflicted. She wanted to be independent but at the same time it wasn't bad to be pampered even just once in a while.

Mischa wrapped her hands around the door handle and pulled opening the door. She planted both feet on the ground and pulled herself up.

The air was thick and cold turning her breath into smoke. She wraps the jacket tighter as she felt shiver scrawl down her back.

"Come on I need a beer." Mischa commanded turning around to see Patrick pulling his guitar case guitar out of the trunk.

"Yes ma'am." He chuckled shaking his head joining her side, gripping the handle of the guitar case.

The two both made their way to the back where a couple of groups of people consisting of other bands who were also playing, a few fans and groupies sat by the pavement smoking.

"Hey man!" Joe greeted.He stood beside a man with ginger hair and thick framed glasses.

"Hey Joey." Mischa chuckled throwing her arms around Joe giving him a quick squeeze before doing the same to "Andy." She smiles as he returned the hug with a pat on the back.

Patrick wrapped a hand around the neck of his guitar case pressing all his weight on his toes as he searched the crowd for a familiar face.

"Where's Pete?" He finally let out turning to his friends.

"Beats me." Joe shrugs.

"Please tell me he's at least here already." Patrick said looking for reassurance, fear in the his voice.

"He's around here somewhere." Andy replied with a kind smile trying to comfort Patrick.

"Yeah knowing Pete his probably causing chaos somewhere." Mischa chimed in.

"Speak of the devil."Joe raised his hands gesturing to Pete who just made his way out of the backdoor immediately colliding with the groupies who quickly flocked around him causing the Joe and Mischa to roll their eyes.

"I thought the bassist never gets the girls." Mischa shared.

"I should be the one getting girls dude." Joe began strumming his fingers in the air pretending to play the guitar. "I play the guitar." He said proudly with a smirk as two blonde girls passed by who just laughed in his face.

"So does Patrick." Mischa plainly retorts making Andy and Joe look at Patrick who just gave the two an awkward smile.

"And he sings to so..."She adds. Puzzled expressions washed the boys faces not sure what Mischa was getting at.

Mischa eyed Patrick. He wore a trucker hat underneath was his unkempt red hair. He wore ill fitting clothes with a bunch of layers. He had pale complexion that easily turned red when he was embarrassed. Pink bow shaped lips that were always in a smile and kind puppy dog eyes. There was something appealing to him Mischa couldn't put a finger on it.

"But I guess girls love bad boys." She shared something she knew from experience now looking over at Pete who was now on his way towards them.

He had jet black hair styled with gel. He sported black eyeliner with a matching black hoodie and tattered jeans.Girls loved him which Mischa just shakes her head at.

"You guys talking about me?" He asks the strong smell of whiskey on his hot breath, a smug expression on his face as he wraps an arm around Mischa's shoulder.

"Jesus Christ Pete did you drink the whole bar?" Mischa fanned her nose before covering her hand on it.

"I know the bartender, come on I know you want a drink." He says with an evil smirk wrapping his hand around her wrists attempting to bring her along with him.

Mischa wasn't the type to shy away from free alcohol or alcohol in general but she knew they needed to be onstage anytime soon.

"Aren't you guys supposed to go on soon?" She asks turning to Patrick.

"We go on in ten minutes one drink won't hurt." Pete informed.

"Fine one drink... How about you guys?" Mischa asked turning to Joe and Patrick knowing Andy doesn't drink.

Joe nods while Patrick shakes his head.

"Come on Patty it's good for the nerves." Mischa pouts now being the bad influence as she wraps her hand around Patrick's wrists.

Patrick looks down at his hand then back at Mischa. "Fine."

"Great!" She says in glee. "Onwards!" She commanded. Pete laughs and starts their descent towards inside.

A fair amount of people were inside as there was already a band playing. The room was chaotic. A handful of people crowd surfed and there was a mosh pit forming in the back it didn't help that the venue was small.

Pete lead the group across the sea of people towards the bar like a captain leading his soldiers into battle like their life depended on it.

"Hey Chris!" Pete called as soon as they reached the bar getting the attention of the bartender.

"Back so soon?" The bartender laughs wiping the counter top.

"Four jäger bombs."Pete said raising four fingers.

"How about you Andy?"Pete asked casually turning to Andy.

"Can I have a wa-"

"What?!" Patrick exclaimed turning to his friend like he was crazy earning a laugh from Mischa but before he could protest the bartender placed three shots in front of them.

"Water." Andy repeated to the bartender who just nods handing him a bottle of cold water.

"Well fellas." Pete began raising his drink. Mischa and Joe mirrored him. Andy even raised his water but Patrick was having a staring contest with his drink.

"Come on." Mischa tapped him on the shoulder flashing her a big smile.

Patrick gulped and raised his drink and on queue the three jugged down their drinks. Patrick following slowly behind seeing he was taking small sips.

Mischa rolled her eyes and tipped the glass with one quick move taking Patrick by surprise making him gag slightly.

Pete smiled watching Patrick almost choke on his drink shaking his head entertained at how fast his pasty skin turned bright red from one single shot of alcohol.

"See that wasn't that bad." Mischa smiled innocently rubbing Patrick's back.

Patrick made a face trying with all his might not to throw up.

Andy rested his bottle of water on Patrick's shoulder which he immediately took and jugged down.

The loud hiss of the mic caught everyone's attention towards a man standing on the stage holding up cue cards.

"Could you help me bring our next band on stage?" He asks the crowd using the cards in his hands to block the stage lights as he searched the crowd.

"Fall out boy everyone! Make some noise!" He gestured towards the bar earning loud booming cheers from the crowd.

"I LOVE YOU PETE!" A girl from the back shouted making Pete laugh.

Pete patted Patrick on the shoulder who was still recovering from the Jäger shot.

"Come on guys." Pete said as he leads the groups on stage. Patrick following lastly behind.

Mischa claimed a spot in front beside familiar acquaintances that she saw in school and parties. They nodded at her acknowledging her presence.

"Hi were Fall out boy."Pete said into the mic as he adjusted his bass while the others got comfortable in their places.

Another round of cheers irrupted this time Mischa screamed along.

Patrick leaned over the drums also adjusting his guitar saying something to Andy who just laughed. He turned around immediately catching Mischa's gaze.

A smile tug on his lips as he claimed his place in front not breaking eye contact with her.

"I LOVE YOU PATRICK!" Mischa shouted trying her best to sound like one of the fangirls. She laughs at herself after hearing what came out of her mouth not knowing she was capable ofmaking that sound.

There it was again Patrick blushing for the hundredth time that day.

He looked over at Mischa for a moment before he shyly looked away putting his attention somewhere just to end up meeting Pete's gaze instead.

Pete laughed shaking his head giving him a teasing smile before gesturing to him that they were ready.

Andy started to play the drums soon Joe followed with his guitar then Patrick pressed his lips on the mic.

"I dried my eyes, now I crust them with sleep  
I'll crust them over  
She begged me "Don't hate me"  
She spun me a story  
Where winning looks like losing  
And I'm winning every time  
So thread spools, sweetie, get ready  
Until my silk is sold"

Mischa started to bop her head to the music a large smile on her face as she sang along, knowing the lyrics by heart like she wrote them. Her hands laced together resting on her chest. She was their biggest fan girl it was clear and she wasn't ashamed to admit it.

The guys were passionate about their music and Mischa was proud that they were finally getting the recognition they deserved.

Two years ago these guys used to drive for days just to go to shows and just to have no one show up.

Getting signed by fuelled by ramen was a big step towards greatness. The guys were set for success she could feel it.


	5. Chapter 5

Joe's loud laughter was deafening for Mischa's buzzing ears. She covered her mouth and bit her tongue forcing herself no not laugh as Joe rambled about a story that had no point, like a joke with no punch line.

Mischa and Joe sat in the backseat of his car laughing their asses off at practically nothing.

The car was filled with smoke the strong scent of marijuana sticking on the seat covers.

A loud knock on the window caught them off guard.

"Shit it's the cops!"Joe's now red shot eyes widen immediately grabbing the small zip lock of weed and attempted to shove it down Mischa's top as a response.

"Put this in your bra!"He shouts frantically that resulted Mischa to slap the back of his head.

"Relax! It's Patrick!"She explained peering her eyes out the window to see his familiar face and opened the door letting a large cloud of smoke to pour out into the sky.

"Are you guys smoking pot?" Patrick asked tiredly with a straight face.

"Yup." Mischa said plainly taking a puff of a joint then offers it to Patrick casually.

He violently shakes his head.

"Jesus Christ Patrick live a little." She rolled her eyes grabbing Patrick by the hand and violently yanks him inside closing the door behind him with one move.

"Yeah Patrick live a little." Mocked Joe.

Patrick started at the joint in Mischa's hand unsure what to do.

"He's not going to do it give it here." Joe grabbed the joint out of Mischa's hand.

"Well if you're not going to smoke at least drink." Mischa pouted like she was just offended.

Patrick turned to look out the window asking himself if he was ready to go through the crowds of people again just get one drink but before he could conclude Mischa pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

"Where'd you get that?"Patrick furrowed his eyebrows puzzled.

"We stole it." Mischa said proudly high-fiving Joe.

"I'm surprised that you two haven't gotten arrested yet." Patrick laughs nervously stalling.

"Blah blah blah." Joe mocks again opening and closing his hand at Patrick's face.

"Drink up." Mischa said with a slur pulling herself closer to Patrick resting a hand on his knee taking him a back.

"Ahhhhh...." She says opening her mouth which Joe mirrored teaching Patrick how to open his mouth before taking another puff.

"Like this.... Joe?"She turns to the brunet who obliged and open his mouth Mischa poured the brown liquid in his mouth for a few seconds.

Joe made a face as he swallowed.

"Now me." She say staking a large swig of the whiskey, whipping her mouth with the back of her hand when she finished.

"Now your turn." Mischa a fake innocent smile on her face as she titled her head to the side.

Patrick looked at Mischa examining the dazed smile on her face and sighed.

"Come on Patrick.Please." She now rested her hand on his thigh.

Patrick slowly looked down and stared at the position of her hand on his leg gulping before slowly opening his mouth.

Mischa didn't waste time pouring one fourth of the bottle down his throat.

Patrick soon felt the sting roll down his throat to his stomach immediately covering a hand over his mouth just in case he ends up throwing up. Earning a laugh from his friends.

Mischa and Joe took another shot forcing Patrick to stay who was slowly getting high since they didn't bother to crack open a window. Making all the fumes circulate the car, hot boxing it.

Another knock startled Joe against this point he was getting paranoid and Mischa was following closely behind.

"Shit it's Andy!" Joe practically shouted making Mischa laugh hysterically.

Patrick slowly opened the door blankly shooting Andy a look with his heavy eyes.

"Wassup?" Mischa asked with a nod.

Andy took one look at them and shook his head.

Joe was wide eyed like the size of the moon, Mischa was acting all suave trying not to laugh and Patrick looked like a zombie. They looked like their mothers just caught them in the act of something bad.

Andy was indeed the mother in this pack.

"We gotta go. Pete just passed out and I can't carry him alone." He informed pointing over his shoulder.

Joe open the door on his side a serious look on his face. "On it." He said like he was just given a quest and he meant business.

The three poured out of the car and followed Andy back inside were there were now lesser people.

It wasn't hard to spot Pete curled up in a ball in one of the booths in the back, knocked out cold.

Joe quickly rushed over to his friend attempting to pull him up but failed.

Mischa looked over to Andy then Patrick and sighed. Her motherly instinct of wanting to take care of everyone kicked in. She pushed the other guys aside and walked up to Pete, kneeling beside him.

She caressed her hand on his head trying to wake him up. "Pete can you get up?" She asked sweetly earning a "mhmmm...." from him.

Mischa's lips perked into a smile. "Where gonna get you home okay? Into your bed but you have to getup now okay?" She tells him which he softly nods at.

He slowly sat up eyes closed, his arms stretched out in front of him looking for support which Joe and Andy quickly reached for before he fell back onto his back. 

They pulled him up and threw his arms over their shoulders. Pete tried his best to stand up on his own doing a poor job seeing he was leaning all his weight on Joe almost bring him down with him.

"Lets go before we all fall on the floor." Joe groaned as his knees buckled Andy nods and begins their descent out the door.

"Who's bringing him home?" Patrick asked jogging up to his friends looking at Pete who was now getting dragged across the parking lot, looking like a rag doll.

"We will... I'll drive." Andy answered then turned to Joe seeing he was too high to drive and they drove together coming to the show.

"You sure?" Mischa asked looking over at Patrick now un sure if he could drive.

"Yeah we got this don't worry." Andy smiled reassuring her as they stopped beside Joe's car.

As soon as Joe unlocked the car Patrick opened the door, helping lay Pete in the backseat with one heave.

Joe and Andy weaved goodbye as they claimed their seats and zoomed off leaving Patrick and Mischa standing in the middle of an empty parking lot.

"You okay to drive?" Mischa asked feeling the buzz of alcohol slowly crept inside her gut.

"Yeah I'm fine."Patrick said flashing her a big comforting smile that made her smile back at him warmly.

"Alright." She nods following Patrick to his car.

He hastily ran over the passenger door beating Mischa to it, opening it for her.

"Thank you." She says in a slur as she pulls her legs inside the car. Patrick just nods, closes the door and walks over to his side all the while Mischa watched that smile on her face still present. "That was some good weed." She chuckled.

Patrick pulled away from the parking lot looking over his shoulder making sure he didn't hit anything or anyone even though there wasn't anything in sight.

Mischa focus her eyes on Patrick trying her best to see through her cloudy vision.

Patrick took his eyes off the road for a  
second to catch Mischa staring at him.

She sat side ways her body facing him. A large grin on her face looking at Patrick like she knew his deepest secrets and she was about to black mail him.

He just laughs at the look on her face taking a mental image of it. He hasn't seen her smile like that in ages.

"What?" Mischa asked annoyed. "Whats so funny." She pouts crossing her arms.

"Your high as kite...."

"Pffft you're the lightweight." She sticks her tongue at him before looking to turn out the window shifting back to her seat.

The street lights again made shadows as they passed by this time they were brighter, glowing a warm orange. Mischa rested her head on the glass fidgeting with the switch of the window the look of wonderment masking her face as it opened and closed like it was her first time seeing it. 

A faint song on the radio played.

"Though nothing, will keep us together  
We could steal time, just for one day  
We can be heroes, forever and ever  
What'd you say?"

It was familiar Mischa thought she tried  
to put a finger on it. It slowly came to her then all at once. Her eyes widen.

It was David Bowie's Heroes.

"SHIT TURN THAT UP. I LOVE THIS SONG!" She jolted surprising Patrick by the sudden change of her tone.

She turned the volume up humming to the music excitedly awaiting for the next line of the song.

"I, I wish you could swim  
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim  
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together  
We can beat them, forever and ever  
Oh, we can be heroes, just for one day"

Mischa sang on the top of her lungs. Her voice soft like silk like a waves crashing onto shore, a cold breeze hitting your skin on a hot day.

She brought her hand out the window feeling the strong wind hit her skin. Her eyes closed as she sang.

Her long hair danced in the wind.She rested her hand on her chest feeling her heart beat with the bass.

Patrick watched her as she sang a smile tugging his lips. She was in her own little world like she drowned everything else around her.

She parted her lips open ready to sing again.

"I, I will be king"

Patrick sang the next line pointing at himself as he says king.

Mischa instantly turned to look at Patrick as soon as a note parted his lips.

"And you, you will be queen"

Her features beamed into a smile as Patrick pointed at her as he said Queen.

"Though nothing will drive them away  
We can be heroes, just for one day  
We can be us, just for one day."

Both grinned from ear to ear a twinkle in their eyes as they looked at each other nodding.

"I, I can remember (I remember)  
Standing, by the wall (by the wall)  
And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads)  
And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)  
And the shame, was on the other side  
Oh, we can beat them, forever and ever  
Then we could be heroes, just for one day"

They sang together taking turns singing the back up vocals their voices merging together beautifully complementing each other as they harmonized.

And without them knowing it they were already in front of Mischa's house just starting at each other for a moment not noticing that the song already ended.

"Thanks Patrick." Mischa smiled at him then collected her things pulling herself out of the car. Patrick followed behind leaving the car in the middle of the road with the engine running.

He followed on her tail escorting her to the door not knowing that they had just parked in front of the neighbors house as they were both tipsy.

"Thanks Patrick." Mischa said again smiling pulling out her keys.

Patrick shook his head. "No problem." He smiled looking into her hazel eyes getting lost in them for a moment. Mischa doing the same to his green ones.

Their faces got closer and closer until there was no more gap in-between them.

Mischa's eyes closed as soon as she felt his lips on hers. Her hands making their way around his shoulders. She licked his lips he parted them letting her slid her tongue in his mouth deepening the kiss. His hands slowly made their way around her waists as he kissed her back; sloppily.

Her eyes popped opened the buzz and high parting from her body as soon as it dawned on her that she was kissing Patrick, her best friend. She quickly pulled away wide eyed.

"I'm gonna go...." She said just noticing that they were standing on the neighbors front yard.

Mischa hastily made her way to their front door not letting Patrick say two words to her and ran inside quickly shutting the door behind her.

She caught her reflection in the mirror hanging in the hallway. She looked flustered and distraught. 

"Did that just happen?"She asked herself as she covers her mouth, running her fingertips on her lips still feeling Patrick on them.

A million things running through her mind.

Did she want that to happen? Who initiated that? Was it because they were both drunk out of their minds? What did it mean?


End file.
